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My Little Pony: The Test of Friendship

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Chapter 1- The Griffinstone Race

It was a beautiful day in the land of Equestria, the sun was shining brightly and everypony around the land seemed to be enjoying the beautiful day. Even some of the more fearsome creatures were out, taking the nice weather as an opportunity to explore the lands and hunt.

But in one area of Equestria, the land may have seem bright but the atmosphere seemed more dark and gloomy. Not one Griffin stopped to greet one another in their rush to start their day, flying to and from to get where they needed to be. Griffinstone was one place in Equestria where the creatures didn't get along so well, they fought and argued almost all the time, and there was never a nice word that came from their beaks.

A few Griffins stopped and turned their heads as the sound of hooves clicking into the ground was heard down the road, becoming closer and louder with each passing second. Soon enough it was clear who it was making the noise. It was a lone pegasus passing through, wearing a small cloak that didn't cover a whole lot, only the head and mane but you could see it's wings that indicated it was a pegasus.

Many of the creatures turned away and departed from the area once the pegasus arrived, they didn't care that much about who it was or why the pegasus decided to come to their town and would rather be somewhere else instead of standing there, watching the pegasus walking by.

Glancing around, the pegasus trotted on through the town, the pegasus noticed all the glances from the other Griffins and there were some scowls directed at the new visitor but didn't pay much attention to them and continued moving through town. After awhile interesting gossip could be heard that peaked the pegasus's interest and stopped to listen more into the gossip.

At the closest corner was a group of three male griffins, one Griffin was bigger than the rest of them but didn't seem like he was a bright individual, the second griffon was the smallest and seemed to look more crazy and wired like he just had a shot of caffeine, and finally the third griffon was about taller than an average build Griffin but his build was more broad and seemed like he was the leader of the group, he had a scar from the top of his forehead that trailed between his eyes and curved below the eye on the left cheek. He might of been a warrior in his prime but he was a mighty looking Griffin still that could probably beat both of his goons and a few other Griffins if you got on his bad side.

"D-d-did you hear?" the small twitchy Griffin exclaimed, the other two listening closely.

"Some p-p-pony managed to pull of the l-legendary Sonic Rainboom awhile back" he continued to explain through his stuttering speech.

"Yeah... I heard it was a really pretty rainbow." The biggest Griffin mentioned, his speech was slower but still easy to understand.

The Griffin with the scar didn't seem to care too much about the topic and just stayed silent.

Upon hearing the conversation, the pegasus moved closer, clearing their throat to draw the Griffins attention. "Excuse me" the pegasus said in a fairly deep voice indicating it was a male voice.

The Griffins stopped their conversation and turned to the stranger. The scarred Griffin opened one eye to look towards the pegasus. "What do you want?" he asked in a gruff tone.

"I couldn't help but overhear your conversation" The pegasus answered.

"Yeah, and…?" The scarred Griffin asked while studying the pegasus, the other Griffins just staring with the tweaky griffon growling like a dog and the big Griffin trying to pull the tough guy look.

"Is it true, there's a pony that pulled off the legendary Sonic Rainboom?" The pegasus asked.

The scarred Griffin paused for a second before asking "Why do you want to know?"

The pegasus could be seen smirking through his cloak but still not be able to see the face as they answered, "Well... I've been looking for some good competition, but unfortunately, nopony has been able to give any challenge recently. Perhaps you can help direct me to this pony who was able to break the legend"

The scarred griffin started chuckling to the response which caused the other two Griffons to laugh hysterically. The scarred Griffin composed himself and quieted the other two and spoke. "You? Against the Sonic Rainboom? I doubt you could even beat a Griffin, let alone the pony who pulled that off"

The pegasus continued smirking. "Is that a challenge?"

"Only if you aren't scared to lose?" The Griffin taunted.

"When I win, I'm going to make you eat those words" The pegasus responded.

The scarred Griffon grinned. "You got guts pony, I like that. What's your name?" he questioned.

"Tell you what...you beat me in a race and I'll tell you, but if I win, you tell me where this pony is. Deal?" the pegasus held out his hoof for an agreement.

The Griffin smirked and shook the pegasus's hoof. "Deal. Three laps around Griffinstone and finish at the center of town...against all three of us" he threw in the game changer.

"Three against one? That's not very fair, now is it?" The pegasus asked but not sounding concerned about it.

"You wanted a challenge!" the small Griffin noted. "Unless you're too chicken" The big Griffin added.

The pegasus narrowed his gaze. "As long as you keep your end of the deal, this will be a piece of cake"

The three looked between one another, not believing this stranger could beat all three of them. "We start at the center of town" the scarred Griffin said as he flew off with the other two following behind him, leaving the pegasus to follow them.

They all flew into town and landed at the center causing many of the other griffins to turn their gazes to see the three Griffins and a cloaked pegasus.

"Listen up!" the scarred Griffin announced. "This little pony has decided to challenge us to a race, so we're going to give boring old Griffinstone a race to make things a little less boring here!" he declared.

There were low murmurs and gossip starting to be passed from one to the next. Some were saying that the whole thing was a joke and that the pegasus wouldn't stand a chance against three Griffins. Others were more positive, believing that it was going to make the day more interesting and draw away the boredom that had settled here.

As the race was being prepared, the pegasus removed his cloak, causing more murmurs to chorus through the crowd. Some female Griffins thought the pegasus looked kinda attractive for a pony, with his blue colored body being bigger and broader then any other pegasus they have seen and with a wild looking mane and tail of red and yellow colors that looked closely related to a flame.

The stallion could hear some of the females talking about him but ignored them, giving off a more rebel vibe about him, which kinda sparked the females interest in him.

The scarred Griffin was getting annoyed with the talk about the pegasus and interrupted the conversations, "Enough messing around, let's start the race!" he declared, glaring at the pegasus.

Tossing his cloak aside, the stallion took to the starting line and positioned himself into a starting stance. "Whenever you're ready" he smirked with confidence.

The three Griffins got ready as well to take off, all of them wanting to beat the over confident stallion.

An older looking Griffin approached to start the race. He looked around as the crowd silenced before starting the countdown for the race to begin.

"3"

The competitors lowered their stances even more to get a better chance to explode out of their stances while murmurs ran through the crowd.

"2"

Their wings unfurled, flapping a few times to get ready to go.

"1"

The other Griffins were counting down with the older Griffin and were on the edge of their seats when suddenly…

"GO!"

The four competitors flapped their wings as hard as they could and took to the sky, leaving behind a crowd of cheering Griffins.

The stallion easily took the lead and made his way outside of the town, wrapping around some of the tall buildings, the wind was whipping through his blue fur, throwing his untamed mane behind his head as he flew. Behind him, the Griffins were catching up. The scarred Griffin looked to the other two, giving a knowing grin. They nodded and picked up their speed, coming up on both sides of the pegasus, almost surpassing him.

"Still think you can beat us?!" The small Griffon exclaimed. "Griffins are the best flyers around!" he added as he looked over the Pegasus to the big Griffin and winked. The bigger Griffin had a puzzled look on his face for a second until it finally clicked what he was suppose to do and nodded.

The pegasus could tell the two Griffins were up to something and felt them getting closer to his wings. He had a feeling he knew what they were up to and had to time his movement just right.

The scarred Griffin just tailed the pegasus, watching and waiting for the opportunity to make his move. The two Griffins wasted no time and both angled more towards the pegasus to ram both his sides and hold him down while their leader made an easy pass to win the race with no problems.

The pegasus saw them closing in at high speeds and right before the were able to make contacted, he stopped flapping his wings and held them out vertically to abruptly stop his movement and pulled him back like they were parachutes. The two Griffins were shocked to see that the pegasus was no longer in their path but couldn't change the flight path in time as they collided with each other and were falling while tangled together. Below them was a couple buildings with nests in them as they crashed into a nest big enough for both of them. It took a couple minutes for them to get untangled and when they were free they looked at each other in anger.

"You big buffoon! You ruined the plan!" The small Griffin growled.

"You were in my way first!" The big Griffin replied as they continued to argue, forgetting that they were in a race.

After the collision, the scarred Griffin was in shock what had happened in front of him. The pegasus easily read their plan and countered it like it was nothing. He saw the pegasus in front of him basically stopping in the air before doing a backflip and almost kicking the Griffin in the face. He couldn't react in time to the kick with how fast he was flying at the pegasus.

"Time to kick it up a notch" the pegasus said.

Before the Griffin knew it the pegasus flapped his wings extremely hard and zipped farther ahead of the Griffin. The burst of wind from the pegasus's wings caused the Griffin to get blown backwards, losing control of himself. After a couple seconds of spinning in the air the Griffin gained control and looked around at the situation. He noticed that the pegasus was farther ahead and that the other two Griffins were bickering in a nest below him.

He shook his head in disappointment at the other Griffins. "Idiots..." He growled before flying back after the pegasus , gaining more speed every second to catch up to him. The pegasus finished the first lap with ease as he looked back to see the scarred Griffin catching up on him.

"Two down, one to go" He smirked as he looked forward narrowing his crimson red eyes at what was coming up in front of him which was the same tall buildings he had to loop around earlier and repeated the same movement.

The scarred Griffin saw the pegasus keep his lead and looping around the buildings with ease. "This pegasus knows how to move" He smirked, "Good...I didn't want this to be an easy race." He pushed his wings to go faster as he started tailing behind the pegasus, getting closer and closer.

The pegasus looked back and saw how close he was getting and only smiled with confidence as he slowed down so the Griffin could be right next to him.

"So you gonna be fair now or do you have more dirty tricks for me?" He said

The Griffin chuckled, "I'm impressed you saw through that, not many Griffins can pull a move like that so quickly. But those fancy movements aren't gonna help you beat me, I'm one of the top Griffins in Griffinstone." His voice raised higher. "Show me you're very best!"

"You want to see my best? Fine, on the last lap we give it all we got. How does that sound?" He asked

The Griffin agreed, "Better not disappoint me."

"Same goes to you," The pegasus replied.

The two competitors maintained an equal speed as they glided through the second lap.

On the ground, the older Griffin who did the countdown stood in the middle of town watching the two competitors fly past him.

"I haven't seen him smile like that in a long time...maybe this pony can help him bring that old spark back in him..." The older Griffin said as he continued his gaze at the two.

Back to our competitors, they finished looping around the buildings again and reached the final sprint of the race. With determination in both their eyes they pushed forward, the Griffin felt his wings starting to burning as he pushed with all his might. He started gaining the lead against the pegasus and could see the finish line in sight. "Out of every creature with wings, you were the by far the best I have ever gone against. It was a good race but looks like I win." He smiled, almost 100 yards from the finish line.

Before he could finish enjoying his lead the pegasus's voice could be heard in his ear. "I wish I could say the same...but its time I finish this."

Before the Griffin knew it, a ball of fire zoomed past him, leaving behind sparks of blue lighting surrounding the fire, passing the finish line. He looked behind him to notice the pegasus wasn't behind him anymore and turn his head to the finish line only to be shocked to see the pegasus already landed past the finish line.

The pegasus looked back towards the scarred Griffin before looking towards the crowd as they cheered for his win.

The Griffin landed behind the pegasus and just watched smirking in victory to the crowd with his hoof in the air. He could here the sound of wings flapping behind and a thump as he turned around to see his two lackeys behind him with shame on their faces and their heads tilted down, avoiding eye contact with him.

"We're sorry boss..." The big Griffin sighed in defeat.

"We let you down big time..." The small Griffin added.

The scarred Griffin looked back at the celebrating pegasus and smiled. "You know...I'm not mad."

The two griffins looked up at the scarred one in shock. "Really?" The big Griffin asked.

"Yeah...for the first time in along time...I actually felt alive racing again." He answered.

The pegasus finished his showboating after hearing the scarred Griffin speak up. "Guess you won fair and square."

The pegasus turned around to face the three Griffins, he grinned at them, "Thats what happens when you try to play dirty."

The two Griffins behind the scarred one were getting a little upset and started a low growl before the scarred one lifted his claw to silence them and replied, "You're right, playing dirty tricks like that isn't right and I won't be pulling stuff like that anymore."

"Well I got to race some Griffins for the first time, so it was a new experience for me. Glad I got this chance." He smiled as he brushed himself off casually.

The scarred Griffin smiled back, "Guess I have to hold my end of the deal now."

The pegasus nodded, "So who is this pony that pulled off the Sonic Rainboom and where can I find them?"

"I don't know the name...but I heard they are in Ponyville." The scarred Griffin replied casually.

The stallion thought for a moment. "Ponyville, eh?" He nodded and looked to the Griffins. "Thanks for the info, but I better get going now," he turned to walk away before the scarred Griffin interrupted him.

"If you think you can beat that pony, you got another thing coming. You barely beat me and I heard that the Sonic Rainboom is beyond any speed any flier has ever had."

The stallion chuckled, "Thanks but I think I'll be fine." He continued moving forward but stopped to looked at the Griffins. "If you ever want a rematch...come find me. The names Flamebolt," and with that he flew off, away from Griffinstone into the direction of the sun.

"Flamebolt...I'll remember that," he stared at the fading figure of Flamebolt in the sky.

The older Griffin from earlier appeared next to the scarred Griffin. "So did this race help you get your motivation back, Gilford?"

Gilford looked to the older Griffin. "Yeah...now that I have some competition again but I doubt he will be that much better the next time we meet."

"Oh I think you have a long way to go before you face him the way you are." The older Griffin replied.

"Why do you say that?" Gilford asked.

"It was obvious that pony was still holding back...did you not notice how he showed no exhaustion and was barely breaking a sweat?" The older Griffin asked back.

Gilford thought back to the race and talking to Flamebolt and then it clicked as he realized what the Griffin was saying and chuckled. "Wow...and I told him to take me seriously...guess I'm the fool."

"Well you know what you have to do now right?" The older Griffin asked.

"Yeah..." As he looked into the eyes of the Griffin he replied with determination. "Can you train me once again...coach?"

The older Griffin smiled and nodded.

Gilford turned back to his lackey Griffins, "Grog, Gippy lets start training again. We need to whip ourselves into shape if we want to stand a chance against Flamebolt again."

The bigger Griffin known as Grog nodded, "You got it boss!"

Gippy saluted, "We're with you all the way!"

The four Griffins flew away from the crowd and began preparing their training regimen.

Back with Flamebolt as he was flying in the air he had a confident grin on his face. "Just you wait...I'll show you who the better flier is." He inhaled before exclaiming, "Next stop, Ponyville!" He sped off through the sky, not knowing what Ponyville was going to have in stored for him.

So I decided to rewrite my Fanfiction, hopefully it's decent enough for people to want to read. Anyways I hope you enjoy!

Next Chapter: fav.me/d9uo6q9
© 2016 - 2024 McThriller
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PenName-Artist's avatar
Awesome!
(Sorry it took me so long to see this, had too much going on to spend time reading these.)

Good start! I like where this is going. 

Few constructive critiques: (forgive my inevitable text-wall)

there are a lot of times where descriptive words of characters are over-used, sometimes even in the same sentences. (I.e. pegasus is said multiple times over) My suggestion is to continue dialoge as "he" or "they" after the initial introduction at the beginning of the paragraph, so we still know who we're talking about without having to re-reevaluate that they are a blue Pegasus. As well, its good practice to come up with other terms for the characters description (I.e. "blue Pegasus" can also be depicted as the "hooded figure", "young stallion" or any combination of them, something changed enough to feel different but still match the same characters already established description.)
Hope that helps! :P